The Search Begins…
The French Fryar: In Pursuit of the Perfect French Fry
I’ve developed a love, or perhaps an obsession. Not that stalker kind of love, but the love that makes your mouth happy and your stomach full. It’s not something that everyone gets, but those who do understand my mouth-watering feelings. I have a love for french fries. Crispy, salty, seasoney french fries. Those 20-40 slivers of potato (and/or other stuff) make people happy all over the world. If people could fry fast enough, they could probably stop wars. Think about this fact: growing up, 67% of kids prefer french fries over pizza, that’s a lot.* French fried relations reach back as far as 1894 (and maybe even 1882), when O. Henry (the pen name for William Sydney Porter) in his book, ‘Rolling Stones,’ said that “Our countries are great friends. We have given you Lafayette and French fried potatoes” (probably referring to England). And he’s right.
Two million tons of french fries are consumed each year, but only 600,004 tons are actually good tasting.* This needs to change. Or at least, we need to find these 600,004 tons and commend the fine men and women who concocted them. Some people go through their lives not knowing what’s out there- for every Mastro’s Steakhouse shoestring french fry, there’s a ridiculous amount of Wendy’sesque “I put lots of salt on old potato stuff” fries. That’s why I’m here. A friar is someone who is called to a life of service to a community. I will rate french fries near and far so that you don’t have to waste anymore time or money on those fries which many have come to consider as less than perfect.
Perfection of course is debatable, but when it comes to french fries, we need to find “the one.”
*most of my statistics are made up
Thanks for reading.
(Long story short, I’m going to rate french fries.
Some will be really shitty and some will be amazing but all will go into my stomach. Later on I’ll be having guest writers, different fry categories (shoestring, steak, waffle, curly, etc.), and user ratings too. If you have any recommendations of fries or just ideas in general for the blog, definitely email me at thefrenchfryar@gmail.com. Thanks again.)
