Neighborhood: Santa Monica
I’ll describe it via made up website url: http://www.superfreshbutsuperboringfries.org/thatburgerwasabsolutelyridiculousthough
Tavern
Neighborhood: Brentwood
Finally, a place that’s doing their part to give back to the greater good. It makes you feel like you’re home again…because we all grew up in households that made french fries. It makes me really, really happy when fancier place care about their fries (and doesn’t overdo it). But freal, these were awesome- really simple, but really good: sea salt + fresh rosemary (that they grow there).
Texture: 5
Seasoning: 4.6
Freshness: 4
Crispiness: 5
Umami Burger
Neighborhood: Mid-Wilshire
These reminded me of legos. Legos didn’t taste good, nor were these fries brightly colored with bumps, but they were the most perfectly rectangular fries I’ve ever had. This is neither a good nor a bad thing, it’s just interesting to note. Believe me, a lot of people think this is interesting- I have like 2.5-3 readers now. So, Umami used to do this awesome thing where they’d pile up their steak fries like building blocks- but they no longer do it. They changed the fries/presentation. So shady/damn economy. They sort of make up for it with their BYOB policy. But, they fail on a couple levels;
1st fail: They only offer a house ketchup, with literally a spoon sized portion. Now a LOT of people have been emailing in asking me my take on this- I don’t like it at all. First off, if you’re going to only offer your house ketchup, give us more than a spoonful (you can ask for more but the service is consistently shitty). And second, at least make it good. It tasted fresh, but I wanted my heinz. There’s something about that sugary/fake taste that’s oh so right. I may or may not bring my own heinz with my booze next time.
2nd fail: They literally give you 9 fries.
3rd fail: They literally give you 9 fries. Seriously, fuck you guys. Since they don’t come with the burgers, this is portion you get when you order it as a side. A SIDE. There is no reason for this.
Oh yeah, the fries themselves- always crispy, super simple, nothing special. Well salted. Bastards.
